"Shock and Awe" Surprise and Amaze

Homily delivered by Rev. Fr. Domingo R. Florida during the wedding of Thomas Azana and Tamara Obias Tan on July 24, 2010 at the Parish Church of St. Joseph, San Jose, Camarines Sur, 3:00pm)



Your excellency, Bishop Jose Rojas of the Diocese of Libmanan,
Brother priests,
Parents of the bride and groom,
Tom and Tamara,
Brothers and sisters, good afternoon.

Many of us have traveled long just to be here with Tom and Tamara on their very special day. We cannot complain because in their invitation they explained to us why this wedding should be in this church. They say that it was in this church that God allowed them to find each other. And may I add, it was in a context of a wake. While Manay Benditte Hernandez and Manay Del Alladin were mourning, a new life for love has been born. Tom was able to meet at last Tamara, the girl who was constantly being mentioned to him by his father, Manoy Harry, and his brother Jayjay. It was not love at first sight, but a see was nurtured.

As I look back, I cannot but wonder in the approach used by Tom and Tamara in making their love for each other grow instantly. I think they adopted the strategy of the US in toppling Saddam Hussein in year 2003. A Pentagon officer explained that their strategy in using “shock and awe approach” was very effective. Within 20 days after the first air strikes, Tikrit, the hometown of Saddam Hussein fell down. It was the signal of the downfall of the dictator.

Thomas and Tamara also surprised and amazed us.

We were surprised when only after four months of knowing each other, Tom and Tamara were already mentioning about this wedding. I have to admit that I too was very much surprised by the swift progress that I controlled myself in texting and calling Manoy Leo and Manay Baby, the parents of the bride. I was afraid to be blamed. (Maybe now, I can again frequently stay in their house whenever I will be in Manila.) I know how much they have treasured Tamara, their eldest and only daughter. Some have expressed reservations. They have still to know more each other and this demands great lengths of time. But we were amazed because Tom and Tamara showed us that it was not only human attraction that brought them together, but a diving attraction, an attraction which, in better and in worse, would keep them together. They constantly communicated, and they went out of their way to really discern if they are meant for each other. Tamara went to Canada and stayed for two weeks just to connect and try the kind of life she has to live with Tom. Tom returned to the Philippines twice last year so as to be able to know closely Tamara and her family. Indeed, it is not only the length of time that matters, but likewise the quality and efforts exerted that you can test the sincerity of a person.

We were surprised when we came to know that their wedding will be in this town. Tamara is a resident of Quezon City, while the family of Tom is in Naga. For convenience, it would be logical to have this wedding either in Manila or in Naga City. But here we are in Partido, at the back of Mount Isarog. Their justification is because it was at this church that they met each other. But their is a deeper reason: I believe that they want to honor their grandmothers who have been faithful to their grandfathers. They would like to be in a place where the love stories of their grandparents came to be rooted: for Tom it was in Goa, while for Tamara, it was in San Jose. Lola Riting, after she became a widow did not remarry, content in the fact that she had a wonderful marriage, she believes there would be no second time around. Nanay Nellie even until now persists in wearing black clothes. She is showing that when Tatay Munding died, her heart went with him. As it is on earth, so it will be in heaven, she will always be Tatay Munding’s wife. As you can see this afternoon, next to the bride and groom, the persons exuding with pride and gratitude are their grandmothers, Lola Riting and Nanay Nellie.

Tom and Tamara amazed us because in honoring their grandmothers, they likewise honor their parents, and in honoring them, they would like to realize that if today there is a lot of talk about marriage being in crisis, there are also good news about marriage, which goes all too hidden and unnoticed: there are many couples who still celebrate their diamond jubilees; there are still those who hold hands; there are still those who celebrate their married love in countless and creative ways. Indeed, there are still those who know God to be the heart of their married lives and who honor Him as such; there are still those who are able to suffer and persevere because they know their love is deeper than their pain since that love is grounded in God; there are still those full open and generous without condition to God’s plan for their unity of embrace and for their diversification in the gifts of children; yes, there are still those who know their marriage has been made in heaven. And the best proof of these are their parents, Manoy Harry and Manay Weehlee; Manoy Leo and Manay Baby, and their grandmothers.

Tom and Tamara, you have experienced how it is to grow in a Christian family. You have experienced so much love in your life. Tom, you have been flooded by the love of your second mother, Manay Evelyn. Now, as you begin your journey as husband and wife, do not be afraid. You have a good foundation and good models, your parents and your grandmothers. Do not fail them.

All of the catechesis about marriage - becoming one flesh, a lifelong commitment, is a tall order, and you cannot do it alone. With the support of your families, the church, through the Holy Spirit, you will be sustained and strengthened by God who blesses and abides with you. The Eucharist that we share today is a strength and reminder that in baptism you were and are marked as Christ’s own forever, and that you are participants in the body of Christ, where loneliness and isolation are overcome in worship, in our community and in the sharing of the bread and cup, the Body and Blood of Christ. In the words of the psalmist, “You shall be happy.”

Congratulations and best wishes.