This wasn't the first Bayani Challenge I've missed. I was not around last year since we didn't make it home in time. But somehow, this one is quite special to me.
This was the first real build of Tom, his first Bayani Challenge, his first time to be part of Team GK CamSur. Being his obsessive-compulsive self, he packed his clothes, first-aid kit, boy scout items (his flashlight, utility knife, matches, Human Nature bug shield) and sleeping bag about a week before the trip to Masbate. I knew he was excited. I was excited for him.
When I first met Tom, I can be certain that 90% of what I talked about was Gawad Kalinga. I remember the shock in my face when he told me he has never entered a GK village. He gave a shy smile - not quite understanding then what his parents did for the movement - but said that the next time he comes back to the Philippines, he'll make time to check it out.
Between the two of us, I'm clearly the louder one. I talk more. I enjoy entertaining people - I like sharing stories and opinions. Tom likes to listen. He responds with warmth and the little he says is always with genuine interest and concern. So you can be sure that the few weeks we had getting to know each other was like GK101 or a crash course in the Builder of Dreams.
And he did come back to the Philippines. He checked out the villages in Quezon City all the way to Bagong Silang. And proposed. His first time to visit a Gawad Kalinga village was memorable in so many ways. He didn't just fall for me. I knew he was falling in love with the movement and the people too - I just didn't realize how quickly.
I started to realize how smitten he had become when he decided he wanted to move back home. We were in a hotel lounge in Coquitlam, listening to Joey Albert and her band perform - Tom with a beer and me with a cocktail. It was like we were in the Philippines, surrounded by Filipinos, except it was winter. I don't remember what we were talking about but at the end of the night he made a statement. "Alam ko na kung bakit ako nabubuhay. For our family and for our country."
He has spent more than half his life in Canada, away from his family and away from his country, but the love has been anchored deep, always there - just not finding a way to express it. At least not until that moment.
Call me a drama queen, but with the Filipino love song playing in the background, and my slight intoxication, I wanted to cry. It wasn't one of those statements made for the world to hear. It was meant for me and for him. More for him.
Fastforward almost two years into our marriage, I watch my husband prepare for his trip. He grabs a red Habagat backpack (thank you, Gabgab) which has accompanied me to Rio Tuba, Zamboanga and Bukidnon. Bukidnon - the last Bayani Challenge that Team GK CamSur was able to participate in, the Bayani Challenge where I met his parents. Who would have thought that five years later, I'd be carrying their grandchild, watching their son pack for the trip?
Clearly, God works in the most mysterious of ways.
I will not pretend that I was not slightly jealous of all those going off for Bayani Challenge. Being pregnant is one thing, but being put on bed rest is something else. I have a very different challenge to tackle. But the silence of the past week allowed me to reflect and to listen - to accept this new role.
In me is the very reason why I do what I do. Our little boy, just five months in the womb, is the reason why his father wants to make our country a better place. Because our loved ones deserve the best, a country of heroes, with no more poverty.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Friday, July 29, 2011
Quick Response
God works really fast. Or at least, I'm seeing this as His response. If it isn't - it doesn't matter - I'm still happy that He sent these good vibes my way.
Today was a beautiful day. Everyday is - but today especially. I started it off early. By 6am was off the church with Mama, Lola Riting and Auntie Melit. The mass was in Bicol, but I got the gospel and the homily. And it hit home. In a good way. Spending time with the Blessed Sacrament was amazing too. It's been a while. Much to pray for. Much to discern. I could have spent the whole day there really. But that would have been escaping.
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Everybody in the work knows that it is anything but easy. Anything that deals with people is hard. Everything that deals with change is difficult. But sometimes there are moments when it becomes so difficult that whatever pains you feel, makes you forget why you're doing it in the first place. Buti nalang these are just moments. Short-lived. But they come back. And you just have to fight them. And pray they go away.
The afternoon brought me back to reality quite quick. It made me remember - and not just remembering based on distant memories - but remembering because of fresh stories, because of new faces all experiencing the classic tale of love.
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Karl sent 12 French interns our way about two weeks ago. They are 20-21 years old, all highly intellectual, passionate and determined to make a difference in the communities that they will make their home. They were divided into teams - 4 interns in 3 different sites: Bibirao, Libmanan and Balatas. They were assigned to get to know the communities, the families, the people in their neighborhood. They were told to seek the opportunities present in their home villages. And propose a social enterprise that can make the community sustainable. They were to spent two weeks at the village, then spend another week enjoying the other sites, sharing their different experiences and just relaxing.
Relax was not part of their vocabulary. They wanted to work. They wanted to be useful. They wanted to help.
Mama and I were on our way home from GK Ocampo when we received a call from Angel. The four kids were there at the GK office. They wanted to talk to someone. They had some concerns. My Gad. I was thinking of only the worst things.
Their concern was their stay was too short. They wanted to extend their trip. They wanted to spend more time with their families, with their friends. They wanted to be able to work on their Pili Candy business, their English lessons with the community and motivate them to clean their village more. No CWC please, no shopping, no resting. There is work to be done, they say.
They stay at a village that has never had foreign guests. They stay at a village that has problem upon problem. They stay at a site that is not as beautiful as Libmanan, nor as strong as Taguig. They stay at an ordinary village - and they've fallen in love.
It is such strong affirmation that the work truly is so good. That our ordinary is really extra-ordinary. And so many people see it.
The rain was strong and the clouds dense. I asked God for a peek - that I may see it again too. I got a panoramic view.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Ragiwdiw, Jobos and Lots of Patience
Today was to dye for.
Tom and I spent the afternoon going around Naga's Public Market. Looking for different colors of dye. Thanks to Tita Vivian - the friendly stall owner of an unnamed square-meter of a space - we got ourselves a few dozen sachets.
Yellow. Orange. Green. Blue. Red and Black. A couple of each at Php3 a pack. A good peso less than what the other stalls were offering.
Thanks to the ehow website, we got ourselves a basic dye recipe for seagrass. We have grown to believe that ragiwdiw is seagrass, but the different stalls at the market beg to differ. Some say it is just the same as water hyacinth - I think that's a totally different plant. More research to do, I guess.
We boiled our dye and popped in our grass, but to no avail. The jobos did not stick. We'll try again tomorrow - with more dye.
Today we spent: Php183
Php16 - tricycle ride to the Public Market for two
Php51 - for our different colors of dye
Php50 - for Ragiwdiw slippers
Php16 - for tricycle ride back to Bubble Town
Php50 - for oatmeal cookies
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Third Printing
The excitement and novelty of seeing your work printed never fades. For the third time, The Philippine Daily Inquirer printed a piece of my written work. It's my first piece with my married name. :) I wish they had kept the name I submitted though - Tamara Tan Azana - so that people still know that it's me.
I pray for - humility.
--
Youngblood
Home is where grass is greener
By Tamara T. Azaña
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 03:54:00 05/14/2011
Filed Under: Migration, Employment, Family
IT SEEMS as if everyone just wants to leave. People are leaving the provinces for Manila or Manila for elsewhere in the world (even if it means going to the very rural communities of another country). The grass is greener over there (or so we’ve been told), the streets are paved with gold, and there is more of whatever it is we seek.
Moving makes sense if what we seek is opportunity, if there are more jobs, better jobs and a better quality of life waiting for us on the other side, if there are better benefits, better public transportation and better choices for us there, if there are better chances for our children out there. These are all valid reasons to move to a place far from home.
Moving has always been part of human history. People move all the time—and people ought to move, ought to grow and ought to learn.
We Filipinos are no first-timers when it comes to moving. Filipinos left for Hawaii in the 1920s, and from there, to California and the rest of the world. Up until now, Filipino doctors, nurses, nannies, construction workers, caregivers, teachers and technicians are scattered across the globe.
Having so many Filipinos around the world has its pros and cons. The remittances of our workers keep the economy afloat, and yet, you have different organizations and the academe scrambling to correct what seems to be a social mistake with repercussions on the family as well as the brain drain and human rights violations. Migration has had some mixed results, but still millions long for the golden ticket to leave.
There is a difference between leaving because one wants to explore and grow and leaving because there is nothing at home that allows you to provide for yourself and the people you love. It is heart-wrenching to see families separated because there are “better opportunities” abroad. It makes one wonder if there really is no chance for those who remain at home.
It makes you wonder even more when you have already made it abroad and then you are thinking of moving back. If moving is normal and there are millions of Filipinos leaving because there is seemingly no green grass left in the country, why would anyone want to go back?
Not much is said about balikbayans who come home permanently but I believe there have been waves of them because my family was caught in one in the 1990s. After 15 years in the United States, my parents decided that they had their fill of the American dream and took us all home. After college we could choose whether to stay or go. I shuttled between the United States and Manila and eventually chose Manila as my home. But as fate would have it, I got married last year and moved to Vancouver where my husband works. I was no stranger to migration.
We knew we were going to move back home eventually (everyone who leaves says something like that; they just can’t say when). But a few months into our marriage, my husband decided it was time to regain his Filipino citizenship and come home for good.
Friends and family are shocked to learn that we are going back to the Philippines. It makes no sense to many of them. Moving from Canada to the Philippines. Moving from Vancouver to Manila and then to Naga. It is some sort of reverse migration. While everyone else seems to be scrambling to get out, there are a few crazy ones who are going back. But we aren’t alone in making that choice. My parents did it 20 years ago.
Going home makes sense to me. There is so much potential in our country. The opportunities are there for those who are willing to take the risk. The “better life” is not as obvious back home simply because you have to put more effort to achieve it. One needs to work harder and invest more in making home worth staying in.
The country won’t become a “better place” without people making it what it should be. There won’t be better jobs if people don’t create better jobs. The Filipino won’t be better educated if there are no more good teachers. There won’t be a better anything if people don’t start to believe they can make it better. With balikbayans trickling in, and with the focus of other friends on the provinces, I see much hope in this new kind of migration There is a new movement going on—one that is no longer driven by desperation, but by a new sense of adventure and optimism.
We see opportunity in the idle land of the countryside. Opportunities exist in the men and women actively trying to be productive. There is opportunity in everything, even in what we think as the most negative aspect of what we have as a people. We have raw materials and raw talent, giving us a million and one opportunities to process and produce whatever it is we want. There is opportunity if we are willing to define it ourselves, risk it and make it something fruitful. There is opportunity because we see the beauty of what we have and hope that there can be something even more beautiful.
Funny how a Philippine-born Canadian citizen, who has spent more than half his life in Vancouver, found his match in an American-born Filipina from Manila in San Jose, a sleepy little coastal town in Camarines Sur. In our young lives, we have had the chance to cross oceans, travel the world, work in the West, and yet met our destiny where we least expected it: at home. Our first meeting in itself told us of the opportunities that can really be anywhere.
People move all over the world in search of many things. They leave the country to find themselves or make something of their lives. And it’s great if they succeed. But we believe it is also okay to go back to one’s country, because in going back to your roots, you may find yourself as well. And you may find success, or in our case, your life partner.
We know we can find more back home, so we are packing our balikbayan boxes for the last time. It wasn’t the easiest decision to make. We could have waited another thirty-something years, growing our pension and retiring comfortably back home. But our youthful idealism started to see something practical and profitable as well. Investing our time and the little that we have now may grow into something not just for us to enjoy, but something the community can share as well. So we are leaving Canada and moving back home to the Philippines. We are going to live in Camarines Sur because we know we can make the grass greener over there.
Tamara T. Azaña, 28, has an AB Social Sciences degree from the Ateneo de Manila University. She hopes to be a social entrepreneur at the Center for Social Innovation.
I pray for - humility.
--
Youngblood
Home is where grass is greener
By Tamara T. Azaña
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 03:54:00 05/14/2011
Filed Under: Migration, Employment, Family
IT SEEMS as if everyone just wants to leave. People are leaving the provinces for Manila or Manila for elsewhere in the world (even if it means going to the very rural communities of another country). The grass is greener over there (or so we’ve been told), the streets are paved with gold, and there is more of whatever it is we seek.
Moving makes sense if what we seek is opportunity, if there are more jobs, better jobs and a better quality of life waiting for us on the other side, if there are better benefits, better public transportation and better choices for us there, if there are better chances for our children out there. These are all valid reasons to move to a place far from home.
Moving has always been part of human history. People move all the time—and people ought to move, ought to grow and ought to learn.
We Filipinos are no first-timers when it comes to moving. Filipinos left for Hawaii in the 1920s, and from there, to California and the rest of the world. Up until now, Filipino doctors, nurses, nannies, construction workers, caregivers, teachers and technicians are scattered across the globe.
Having so many Filipinos around the world has its pros and cons. The remittances of our workers keep the economy afloat, and yet, you have different organizations and the academe scrambling to correct what seems to be a social mistake with repercussions on the family as well as the brain drain and human rights violations. Migration has had some mixed results, but still millions long for the golden ticket to leave.
There is a difference between leaving because one wants to explore and grow and leaving because there is nothing at home that allows you to provide for yourself and the people you love. It is heart-wrenching to see families separated because there are “better opportunities” abroad. It makes one wonder if there really is no chance for those who remain at home.
It makes you wonder even more when you have already made it abroad and then you are thinking of moving back. If moving is normal and there are millions of Filipinos leaving because there is seemingly no green grass left in the country, why would anyone want to go back?
Not much is said about balikbayans who come home permanently but I believe there have been waves of them because my family was caught in one in the 1990s. After 15 years in the United States, my parents decided that they had their fill of the American dream and took us all home. After college we could choose whether to stay or go. I shuttled between the United States and Manila and eventually chose Manila as my home. But as fate would have it, I got married last year and moved to Vancouver where my husband works. I was no stranger to migration.
We knew we were going to move back home eventually (everyone who leaves says something like that; they just can’t say when). But a few months into our marriage, my husband decided it was time to regain his Filipino citizenship and come home for good.
Friends and family are shocked to learn that we are going back to the Philippines. It makes no sense to many of them. Moving from Canada to the Philippines. Moving from Vancouver to Manila and then to Naga. It is some sort of reverse migration. While everyone else seems to be scrambling to get out, there are a few crazy ones who are going back. But we aren’t alone in making that choice. My parents did it 20 years ago.
Going home makes sense to me. There is so much potential in our country. The opportunities are there for those who are willing to take the risk. The “better life” is not as obvious back home simply because you have to put more effort to achieve it. One needs to work harder and invest more in making home worth staying in.
The country won’t become a “better place” without people making it what it should be. There won’t be better jobs if people don’t create better jobs. The Filipino won’t be better educated if there are no more good teachers. There won’t be a better anything if people don’t start to believe they can make it better. With balikbayans trickling in, and with the focus of other friends on the provinces, I see much hope in this new kind of migration There is a new movement going on—one that is no longer driven by desperation, but by a new sense of adventure and optimism.
We see opportunity in the idle land of the countryside. Opportunities exist in the men and women actively trying to be productive. There is opportunity in everything, even in what we think as the most negative aspect of what we have as a people. We have raw materials and raw talent, giving us a million and one opportunities to process and produce whatever it is we want. There is opportunity if we are willing to define it ourselves, risk it and make it something fruitful. There is opportunity because we see the beauty of what we have and hope that there can be something even more beautiful.
Funny how a Philippine-born Canadian citizen, who has spent more than half his life in Vancouver, found his match in an American-born Filipina from Manila in San Jose, a sleepy little coastal town in Camarines Sur. In our young lives, we have had the chance to cross oceans, travel the world, work in the West, and yet met our destiny where we least expected it: at home. Our first meeting in itself told us of the opportunities that can really be anywhere.
People move all over the world in search of many things. They leave the country to find themselves or make something of their lives. And it’s great if they succeed. But we believe it is also okay to go back to one’s country, because in going back to your roots, you may find yourself as well. And you may find success, or in our case, your life partner.
We know we can find more back home, so we are packing our balikbayan boxes for the last time. It wasn’t the easiest decision to make. We could have waited another thirty-something years, growing our pension and retiring comfortably back home. But our youthful idealism started to see something practical and profitable as well. Investing our time and the little that we have now may grow into something not just for us to enjoy, but something the community can share as well. So we are leaving Canada and moving back home to the Philippines. We are going to live in Camarines Sur because we know we can make the grass greener over there.
Tamara T. Azaña, 28, has an AB Social Sciences degree from the Ateneo de Manila University. She hopes to be a social entrepreneur at the Center for Social Innovation.
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